You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
