Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
