So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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