I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
