Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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