After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
