I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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