Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
