billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
