dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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