never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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