She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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