The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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