he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
