He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
