I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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