this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
