Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
