no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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