Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry about my life...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
