it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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