I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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