i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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