So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
