Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
