It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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