Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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