haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
