maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize