I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
