a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just had sex on a roof
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
