Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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