oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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