i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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