I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize