i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
