i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
