i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize