we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
