WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
