I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
third nipple confirmed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
