my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This house was built for laser tag.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
