You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
