Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
