We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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