he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
