so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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