I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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