This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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