i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
