About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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