***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize