I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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