he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
