You're so nebulous sometimes
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
