Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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