When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
