I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize