Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
