I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize