Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
