Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
