forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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