you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
