I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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