everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
