i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize