its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
