I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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