It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
