Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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