marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Randomize
